I wrote this the evening after I found out I’d landed a new job, but couldn’t share it at the time because I hadn’t yet told my former employer.

This morning I got an important phone call. It was a job offer from Razorfish — arguably the pre-imminent company in my field. It’s something that’s been in the works for a few months, but was never any kind of sure thing. When my wife and I were first considering Chicago, it was because this opportunity, among others, was in play. While it was ultimately a job for The Mrs at another world class agency that brought us here to the windy city, I came knowing that I’d have an interview waiting for me when I arrived. I didn’t know what to expect, but was very pleased with the outcome.

That is, I was pleased until I started passing along the good news to my friends — my friends back in Minneapolis and St. Paul. Through this whole process of packing up, saying my goodbyes and hauling out to Chicago, the whole thing felt very gung ho. It was an adventure and I was glad to be on it. I still am, but it’s on the bitter side of bittersweet as I type this. I sent text messages to a handful of friends back (I almost typed “back home” right there) in Minneapolis, and with each one, it hit me harder and harder. I miss the Twin Cities. Well, I miss my friends in the Twin Cities. I didn’t before, at least not this painfully. It hadn’t hit me yet, but now it just aches. This downtown apartment feels very dark, a little cold, and really, really empty. The triumph of getting called up to the big leagues is tempered heavily with the solemn sadness of homesickness.

It will pass. Chicago has been a great experience so far and I haven’t even gotten to do any motorcycle riding yet. But right now, on this triumphal day when my career is likely to take off in a really big way, a big part of me is wishing I was back in Minnesota. I’m feeling homesick. I don’t actually want to go back, but somehow, I wish I was back.

Thing is though, that phone call this morning is why I’m here. It’s the choice I made: to take a chance and catalyze my career. I don’t regret it, but right now, it feels like I made that choice at the expense of something really really good. Better? Time will tell. Definitely good, though. Definitely good.


I’ve since started at Razorfish, and so far, it’s been fantastic. Hands down the best job I’ve ever had. I love doing meaningful, interesting work surrounded by smart, talented people.

Nathaniel Salzman